Simon Peter

Jesus said,‘Simon, Simon, listen! Satan has demanded to sift all of you like wheat, but I have prayed for you that your own faith may not fail; and you, when once you have turned back, strengthen your brothers.’ And he said to him, ‘Lord, I am ready to go with you to prison and to death!’ Jesus said, ‘I tell you, Peter, the cock will not crow this day, until you have denied three times that you know me.’
Then they seized him and led him away, bringing him into the high priest’s house. But Peter was following at a distance. When they had kindled a fire in the middle of the courtyard and sat down together, Peter sat among them. Then a servant-girl, seeing him in the firelight, stared at him and said, ‘This man also was with him.’ But he denied it, saying, ‘Woman, I do not know him.’ A little later someone else, on seeing him, said, ‘You also are one of them.’ But Peter said, ‘Man, I am not!’ Then about an hour later yet another kept insisting, ‘Surely this man also was with him; for he is a Galilean.’ But Peter said, ‘Man, I do not know what you are talking about!’ At that moment, while he was still speaking, the cock crowed. The Lord turned and looked at Peter. Then Peter remembered the word of the Lord, how he had said to him, ‘Before the cock crows today, you will deny me three times.’ And he went out and wept bitterly.

Scripture | Story | Prayer

Simon Peter

I am Peter. You are Peter. Anyone who has ever had a failure of faith, a collapse of courage, is Simon Peter. Jesus called me the rock, and it is difficult to break a rock. A rock is solid and strong. But a rock is stubborn, inflexible and may be tough to move. When we are most desperate, most afraid, that is when we are most likely to become dumb as rocks, to fail ourselves and to betray those we most love.

Judas betrayed Jesus out of hostility. I betrayed him out of weakness, common cowardice. Three times before the cock crowed that day, I denied Jesus. But denial seems too small a word. And, of course, I did not deny him as much as I denied myself. I think of it more as a betrayal because, purely out of the desire for self-preservation, I knowingly and deliberately turned my back on Jesus. I did this. And, in so doing, I turned my back on myself and, of course, on God.

The thing about betrayal is that it can happen so suddenly. You think you know who you are. You think you know what you believe. Then, in a moment, all of that identity and resolve disappears like a fish squirming through a hole in the net. Someone says, “Is that what you really think?” and you waffle. Someone else says, “Do you actually believe that?” and you ask yourself, “Do I?” Another says, “You’re not really a part of this Jesus movement, are you?” and you say, “Not really.” Or in my case, you say, “Absolutely not. That’s not me. You must be thinking of someone else.”

So readily did I disavow my discipleship! And that was not my first experience of losing faith. There was that day out on the water. Remember that? Jesus invited me to step out in faith and with great enthusiasm, I got right out of the boat onto the water and then, well, you know the story. I sunk like a, well, like a rock sinks. That was my first recorded failure of nerve.

I was Simon, a simple fisherman and when Jesus gave me that new name, Peter - the rock, a new name for a new life, I was so proud. I thought of it as a recognition of my strength, an affirmation of the leadership I brought to our little group of disciples. Peter – the rock. The name made me feel exceptional, singled-out above the others, above my brother Andrew who brought me to Jesus in the first place,1 and above my fishing partners, James and John.2 Of course, Jesus had a nickname for them too – sons of thunder. (That was appropriate – don’t ever let anybody tell you Jesus didn’t have a sense of humor!)

Every one of the disciples was remarkable but I used to think I was, somehow, more remarkable. After all, it was my boat that Jesus boarded hen he showed us where to catch so many fish.3 And sometimes Jesus invited me to come along when the others were not invited.4 I was the first, you know, to proclaim him boldly as Messiah.5 Yes, I puffed myself up like a crowing cock just thinking about how special I was to Jesus. Peter – the rock! I soon learned that rocks fall, rocks sink, rocks are by no means infallible.

That day, that awful day when Jesus was taken into custody and brought to the home of the high priest, I followed from safe distance. I had been right at Jesus side but then… I dropped back. Jesus had warned us what was about to happen but we did not believe him. We did not want to believe him. I found enough guts to follow as far as the courtyard of the high priest6 but when it became clear that there was to be no mercy for Jesus, when it became obvious that the threatened powers and their minions were going to stoop to their lowest most murderous level,I fled. I confess it. I fled. I hid. I pretended I was not who I was.

When Jesus predicted I would deny him three times, I was shocked, hurt, confused. I loved Jesus. No one was a more eager disciple. Looking back on it, however, perhaps he was giving me permission, permission to do what I had to do to survive the homicide that filled the air that day. I am not looking for excuses for my indefensible behavior. I was afraid. I blew it. But cowardly conduct may well have saved my life and God had more work for me to do. I am not proud of what happened but you know, among the faithful, in all things, God works for the good. I believe that and urge you to claim that belief. In all things God works for the good. God redeems even our most terrible failures and collects the tears of our worst days, saving them to anoint us for service at a later time. Then, restored by grace, we may yet make a contribution to the kingdom of God.

The good news of my discipleship is that, by the mysterious generosity of God and by the grace of which I cannot say enough, I started out strong and I finished strong.

I started by dropping my nets to follow Jesus7 and I finished by helping to build a community of love around his living memory.8 The same day Jesus told me I would deny him, he said a strange thing. He said, “Peter, when you have recovered,9 strengthen these brothers of yours.”10

As on so many other occasions, I did not understand. Now I do. “When you have recovered, strengthen these brothers of yours.” He was saying: Peter, when you get over your failure of faith, when you pull through your collapse of courage, use what you have learned to offer strength to those around you. Take your weakness and offer it as a source of strength to others. To that end, I say to you: when you have denied God in any way, when you have betrayed others or yourself, when you feel like a disappointment, take heart. God has the power to redeem the most embarrassing and painful of your trials and sins.

What a gift! You don’t have to be stuck in the mistakes of the past. I encourage you, therefore, to make the most of the forgiveness God offers in Jesus Christ. With great mercy, God has given us a new birth into a living hope.11 Immerse all your troubles in that hope.

1 John 1:40-41

2 Luke 5:10.

3 Luke 5:3.

4 Mark 9:2.

5 Matthew 16:15-16.

6 John 18:15

7 Matthew 4:20

8 Acts 2 through 12

9 Robert Miller offers the word “recovered” rather than “turned” which is, I think, a more helpful translation. THE COMPLETE GOSPELS, pg.167.

10 Luke 22:32

11 1 Peter 1:3

12 1 Peter 3:8

13 1 Peter 1:22

You are welcome to use these narratives for worship or study but please give the author, Sarah M. Foulger, credit for the writing - and consider making a contribution to Seasons of Change, a non-profit mental health agency in Edgecomb, Maine. Send contributions of any amount to Seasons of Change/ P.O. Box 277/Edgecomb, Maine 04556.

Simon, Peter

Scripture | Story | Prayer

Simon Peter

Prayer of Peter

God of undeserved and immeasurable grace, take our strengths and our weaknesses. Use them to your glory and to the encouragement of sisters and brothers around us. Amen.